he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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