mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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