i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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