I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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