Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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