I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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