really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
