Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
