My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
try to milk me bitch
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