NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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