i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
