i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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