I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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