your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize