I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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