I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
