i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
