after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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