Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
