Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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