kristin has been a bad kristin
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
