I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Enjoy the penises
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
