Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
