have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The uberlube is also flammable
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize