I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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