Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
