return my video game
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
