We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize