You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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