You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
