The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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