I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
wow bdsm is so cute
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
