The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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