honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
