did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
its not stalking. its research.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
