Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just had sex bonerless
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize