Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
