love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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