Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
