if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
