i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
