They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
