she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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