we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
