I must be too annoying 4 u.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
