nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
