Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
