my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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