dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
