how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
