after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
