my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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