Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
