So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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