hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
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