R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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