just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
