I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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