my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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