Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
