Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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