There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize