Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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