Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize